Mindscapes

So, there you are, minding your own business, taking a casual trip through your consciousness when—WHAM!—you find yourself staring deep into the abyss of your own existence. You were just vibing with the universe five minutes ago, maybe giggling at the idea that time is a social construct, when suddenly it hits you: What am I? Why am I? Does any of this even matter?

Welcome to the existential crisis. Whether you’ve dabbled in LSD, mushrooms, DMT, or some combination of the above, there’s one thing many psychonauts have in common: the trip often leads you down a rabbit hole of questioning everything you thought you knew. And it’s not the gentle, “What should I have for dinner tonight?” kind of questioning—it’s the deep, gut-wrenching, soul-shaking interrogation of the very fabric of reality.

You didn’t plan for this, but here it is. And as much as it might feel like you’re standing on the edge of the void, staring into the nothingness, you’re actually about to learn some valuable (and probably uncomfortable) truths about yourself and the world around you.

Let’s explore the different layers of the existential crisis you never knew you needed—and why, in the end, it’s probably a good thing.

1. The “Who Am I?” Crisis

This one hits hard and fast. You’re halfway through your psychedelic journey, marveling at how the trees seem to breathe, when suddenly your brain decides to throw you a curveball: Who the hell am I?

At first, it seems like an innocent enough question. But the more you think about it, the more unsettling it becomes. Who are you, really? Are you just a collection of thoughts, memories, and experiences? Is your personality just a mask you wear to navigate the world? Are you even real, or are you just a character in someone else’s dream?

As the questions start piling up, you realize that your sense of self is a lot flimsier than you thought. The boundaries between “you” and “everything else” begin to blur, and suddenly, the concept of being an individual feels like a trick your brain’s been playing on you all along. Maybe you’re not a separate entity at all—maybe you’re just a tiny piece of a much bigger cosmic puzzle.

2. The “What Is Reality?” Crisis

If the “Who am I?” crisis doesn’t get you, this one will. Psychedelics have a way of distorting your perception of reality, and before you know it, you’re questioning everything you once took for granted. You thought you knew how the world worked, but now you’re not so sure.

Is this reality even real? Is everything you see and experience just a hallucination? Maybe your entire life has been one big simulation, like The Matrix, and you’re just now waking up to the fact that none of this is what it seems.

This isn’t just a casual “What if?” thought experiment. It feels real. You start to wonder whether you’ve ever experienced “real” reality, or if your entire existence has been a carefully constructed illusion. What is real, anyway? Are there multiple realities happening at once, and you’re just moving between them without realizing it?

The worst part? There’s no definitive answer. You’re left spiraling in an endless loop of uncertainty, grasping for something solid to hold onto—only to realize that everything, including your understanding of reality, is like sand slipping through your fingers.

3. The “Why Am I Here?” Crisis

At some point during your existential trip, the big question hits: What’s the point of all this?

Suddenly, you’re no longer just wondering about your place in the universe—you’re questioning the meaning of life itself. Why are you here? Why is anyone here? Are we all just cosmic accidents, drifting through space with no purpose? Or is there some grand design, a reason for all this chaos?

Psychedelics can amplify this sense of purposelessness, making you feel like you’re staring into the abyss with no clear answers in sight. You might find yourself grappling with thoughts like, “Is there a purpose to human existence, or are we just passing the time until we eventually return to dust?”

This stage of the crisis can be particularly jarring because it confronts you with the possibility that life has no inherent meaning. For some, this realization is liberating—it frees you from the pressure of finding “the one true purpose” and allows you to create your own meaning. For others, though, it can feel deeply unsettling, as if the rug has been pulled out from under you.

4. The “Does Any of This Even Matter?” Crisis

As you descend further into the existential spiral, you start asking the really tough questions: Does anything matter at all?

You look around at your life—your job, your relationships, your hobbies—and start wondering whether any of it has real significance. Sure, you might feel attached to your day-to-day concerns, but when you zoom out and think about the vastness of the universe, it’s easy to feel like everything is just a speck of dust in an infinite void.

Psychedelics have a way of making you confront the absurdity of life. Why do we care so much about things like career success, social status, or even just the little annoyances of daily life, when in the grand scheme of things, none of it seems to matter? We’re all just tiny blips on the cosmic radar, here one moment and gone the next.

But here’s where things get interesting: Does it need to matter? Does life’s value really come from some grand, universal meaning, or can it come from the simple act of living? While psychedelics can push you toward nihilism, they can also open the door to a more present-focused, joy-driven approach to life. Maybe it doesn’t need to “matter” in the cosmic sense—maybe the experience itself is enough.

5. The “What Happens After I Die?” Crisis

This one’s a classic. At some point during your psychedelic journey, your thoughts will likely turn to the inevitable: death.

You might find yourself questioning what happens after we die. Is there an afterlife? Do we get reincarnated, or do we just blink out of existence? The psychedelic mind loves to dwell in this space, as it brings you face-to-face with the most existential question of all: What comes next?

Some people report having “near-death” experiences during psychedelic trips, where they feel like they’re crossing over into another realm. Others grapple with the fear of non-existence, a profound sense of loss and uncertainty about what happens when we shuffle off this mortal coil.

The thing is, there’s no way to know for sure. And while psychedelics can make you feel like you’re teetering on the edge of death, they can also give you a glimpse of peace and acceptance. After all, if death is part of the same mysterious cycle of life, maybe it’s not something to fear, but rather a transition into whatever comes next—whether that’s another existence or simply returning to the cosmic soup.

6. The “What If None of This Is Real?” Crisis

Somewhere along the trip, you might start doubting the very nature of existence itself. What if this isn’t real? What if everything you’ve ever known—your life, your relationships, your memories—are all fabrications of your mind?

This can be one of the more unsettling thoughts that psychedelics stir up. As your sense of self dissolves, it’s easy to start questioning whether the reality you’ve been living in is just a figment of your imagination. What if you’ve been living in a simulation all along, and now, for the first time, you’re glimpsing the truth?

In the moment, this realization can be terrifying. It feels like everything you once held onto as “real” is crumbling away, and you’re left with nothing but the void. But as you move through this stage, there’s a strange kind of freedom in accepting that reality might not be as rigid as you thought.

If none of this is real, maybe it doesn’t need to be. Maybe reality is fluid, flexible, and ever-changing, and your experience of it is just as valid, even if it’s not objectively “real.”

7. The “What’s the Point of Anything?” Crisis

Once you’ve cycled through the more classic existential questions, you might find yourself asking the most existential of all: What’s the point of anything?

Psychedelics have a way of stripping away the layers of meaning and purpose we construct around our lives. Without those layers, it’s easy to feel like everything is pointless—just a series of random events strung together with no rhyme or reason.

But while this thought can send you spiraling into nihilism, it also offers a unique opportunity: What if the point is whatever you decide it is? What if, instead of searching for some external validation or meaning, you have the power to create your own purpose? Psychedelics can give you a glimpse of this freedom, where you realize that you are the architect of your own life’s meaning.

8. The Existential Breakthrough: It’s All About the Journey

Here’s the twist: as unsettling as the existential crisis might be, it often leads to a breakthrough that changes how you see yourself, your life, and the world around you. It’s not about finding a definitive answer to any of these questions—it’s about learning to live with the uncertainty and finding peace in the not-knowing.

The existential breakthrough that often follows a psychedelic crisis teaches you that life is about the journey, not the destination. All those “unanswerable” questions—Who am I? What is reality? Why am I here?—are part of the human experience. The goal isn’t to figure everything out, but to learn to be okay with not having all the answers.

9. Embracing the Absurdity of Life

One of the most powerful outcomes of an existential crisis brought on by psychedelics is the realization that life is inherently absurd—and that’s okay. You don’t need to justify your existence with some grand purpose or seek answers to every question. In fact, the beauty of life might be in its absurdity: the random events, the chaos, and the unpredictability.

This acceptance of absurdity can bring a sense of freedom. If nothing has inherent meaning, then you get to create your own meaning. You get to decide what’s important, what brings you joy, and how you want to live your life. Instead of being weighed down by the need to answer life’s biggest questions, you can embrace the idea that the universe is strange, chaotic, and random—and that’s part of its charm.

10. Finding Peace in Uncertainty

At the heart of every existential crisis is a fear of uncertainty—of not knowing who you are, why you’re here, or what comes next. But the real magic of psychedelics is that they can help you find peace in that uncertainty. They push you to confront the unknown, to wrestle with life’s biggest questions, and, ultimately, to realize that it’s okay not to have all the answers.

Psychedelics show you that the universe is vast, mysterious, and sometimes downright confusing—but it’s also beautiful. The uncertainty you feel during your trip is the same uncertainty that underlies all of life. And once you accept that uncertainty, it stops being a source of fear and starts being a source of wonder.

11. The Aftermath: Integrating the Experience

When the trip is over and the existential haze begins to lift, you’re left with a unique opportunity: integration. This is the process of taking the insights you’ve gained during your trip and applying them to your everyday life.

Integration doesn’t mean you’ll have all the answers, but it does mean you can carry forward the lessons you’ve learned. Maybe you’ve realized that you’re stronger than you thought, or that life is about finding joy in the moment rather than searching for some grand purpose. Or perhaps you’ve discovered that it’s okay to question things and that living with uncertainty is part of the journey.

Here are a few ways to integrate your experience:

• Journal About It: Write down the thoughts, feelings, and questions that came up during your trip. Sometimes, putting things on paper helps you process them in a more structured way.
• Talk It Out: Share your experience with a trusted friend, therapist, or community of like-minded individuals who understand the psychedelic journey. Sometimes, verbalizing what you’ve been through can bring clarity.
• Meditate on It: Mindfulness and meditation can help ground you after a trip and allow you to reflect on your experience in a calm and focused way.
• Be Gentle with Yourself: Existential crises can be emotionally exhausting. Give yourself time to rest, reflect, and integrate what you’ve learned.

12. Moving Forward: What Happens Next?

After an existential crisis, especially one brought on by psychedelics, you may find yourself seeing the world in a new light. The questions that once seemed terrifying may now feel like invitations to explore life more deeply, without the pressure of needing concrete answers. You’ve glimpsed behind the curtain, seen the raw, chaotic fabric of existence, and come out the other side with a deeper appreciation for the mystery of it all.

What happens next? That’s up to you. Maybe you dive deeper into meditation, spirituality, or self-reflection. Maybe you decide to focus on the simple joys of life—being present with loved ones, pursuing creative passions, or just enjoying a good cup of coffee without overthinking it. Or maybe you just move forward, knowing that the answers don’t need to come all at once, and that living with uncertainty is not just possible—it’s liberating.

Conclusion: The Existential Crisis You Never Knew You Needed

Psychedelics have a way of shaking up your perception of the world, forcing you to confront the big, scary questions that we usually avoid in everyday life. And while an existential crisis might feel overwhelming, it’s often exactly what you need to grow, change, and gain a deeper understanding of yourself and the universe.

The existential crisis you never knew you needed isn’t about finding the meaning of life—it’s about realizing that life doesn’t need a singular meaning. It’s about embracing the chaos, the uncertainty, and the absurdity of existence, and finding peace in the fact that you’re part of something far bigger than yourself.

So the next time you find yourself spiraling into an existential crisis during a psychedelic trip, remember: it’s all part of the process. You’re not alone, and in the end, you’ll come out of it with a new appreciation for the mystery of life—and maybe even a sense of peace.