Mindscapes

You’re sitting cross-legged in the center of your living room, the lights are dimmed, and suddenly, everything just clicks. You’ve figured out the meaning of life—or at least, that’s what it feels like. Maybe the universe is speaking through you, maybe you’re the next great spiritual teacher, or maybe… you’re just really, really high.

It happens to the best of us. Whether it’s after a heavy session of meditation or a particularly potent edible, there’s a thin line between feeling enlightened and being out of your mind. But how do you tell the difference? Let’s explore some of the key signs and questions you should ask yourself to determine whether you’ve genuinely tapped into cosmic consciousness or if it’s just THC playing tricks on your brain.

1. Are You Contemplating the Meaning of Life, or Just Really Into Your Ceiling Fan?

One of the hallmarks of both spiritual enlightenment and being super high is a deep fascination with seemingly ordinary things. Suddenly, the blades of your ceiling fan are rotating in such a way that they seem to hold the secret to existence itself. The universe? Maybe it’s just one giant fan spinning endlessly through space.

While it’s entirely possible that you’ve stumbled upon an ancient truth encoded in everyday objects, it’s more likely that you’re under the influence of something that makes mundane things really exciting. The key question to ask yourself here is: Do I feel deeply connected to everything in the universe, or am I just mesmerized by the way the light reflects off that fan?

2. You’ve Had a Deep Revelation—But It’s About Sandwiches

We’ve all been there. You’re sitting around, and out of nowhere, you realize that everything in life is like a sandwich. Think about it: two layers of bread representing the physical and the metaphysical, with the contents inside being all of existence itself. Could this be the key to understanding duality, the balance of the universe, and the connection between the seen and unseen?

Or maybe you’re just craving a sandwich.

It’s common to experience profound revelations while high, but here’s the catch—sometimes, those “insights” don’t hold up under sober scrutiny. Enlightenment usually brings wisdom about compassion, the self, or the nature of reality. If your deep revelation revolves around deli meats, chances are you’re not becoming the next Buddha anytime soon.

3. Do You Feel a Deep Sense of Oneness, or Are You Just Super Hungry?

Feeling deeply connected to the universe is a hallmark of spiritual awakening. When you’re enlightened, you might experience a profound sense of oneness with all living things. It’s as though the boundaries between you and the world have dissolved, and you understand the interconnectedness of life on a deep level. You feel like you’re floating on a cloud of harmony, love, and peace.

Or… you’re just really hungry and wondering if you’re about to become one with that bag of Doritos.

When you’re high, hunger can feel like a mystical calling, and suddenly, food is the most important and spiritually significant thing in your life. If you find yourself contemplating the cosmic significance of nachos, you might want to ask yourself: Am I truly feeling connected to the universe, or am I just one snack away from enlightenment?

4. You’ve Discovered the True Meaning of Time—Or Have You Lost Track of It?

One of the trickiest parts of being high is that time starts to get a little… flexible. Five minutes can feel like five hours, and suddenly, you’re having deep thoughts about the infinite nature of existence. You might even think you’ve transcended linear time altogether. Maybe time isn’t real at all—just a human construct designed to control us.

But before you start trying to dismantle society as we know it, pause. Are you really unlocking the secrets of the space-time continuum, or did you just lose track of the last 30 minutes staring at your reflection in the mirror?

A true enlightenment experience might involve a heightened awareness of time and how fleeting life can be, but if you’re obsessively checking the clock every 30 seconds to see if your pizza has arrived, you’re probably just high.

5. You Feel Like You’ve Mastered Meditation—But Are You Even Sitting Up Straight?

Meditation is a powerful tool for achieving spiritual clarity, enlightenment, and inner peace. When you’re in the zone, everything falls away, and you feel a deep sense of presence and calm. You become one with your breath, your thoughts quiet down, and suddenly, the mysteries of the universe reveal themselves to you.

But then again, when you’re high, sometimes it feels like you’ve achieved inner peace when really, you’ve just zoned out for 15 minutes while staring at a blank wall. You think you’ve been in a state of perfect mindfulness, but a quick check of your posture reveals you’ve been slouched over like a human question mark.

True meditation brings awareness, focus, and intentional stillness. If you’ve spent most of your “meditative state” trying to remember whether or not you locked the front door, you might want to reconsider whether you’re on the path to enlightenment or just spacing out.

6. Everything Feels Profound, But Does It Make Sense?

When you’re high, everything feels like it carries deep, existential weight. You might find yourself saying things like, “What if colors are just emotions that we can see?” or “What if the stars are just the freckles of the universe?”

Enlightenment, however, usually involves insights that are profound but also coherent. There’s a certain clarity to the realizations that come with spiritual awakening, and they tend to have lasting meaning. If you find yourself spouting off deep-sounding nonsense and your sober friends are nodding politely, it’s likely you’re just high.

The real test? Write down your revelation and come back to it later when you’re sober. If it still resonates and makes sense, congratulations—you may have tapped into something real. But if it reads like a passage from the journal of a confused 12-year-old, you were probably just high.

7. You’ve Become One with the Universe… or Just the Couch?

One of the most classic signs of being way too high is that you start to feel like you’ve become one with whatever you’re sitting on. It’s as though your body has merged with the furniture, and moving is no longer an option. You’re just… there.

Enlightenment, on the other hand, doesn’t involve getting physically stuck to your surroundings. True spiritual awakening often comes with a sense of freedom, lightness, and detachment from the material world. If you’re currently unable to peel yourself off the couch because you’re convinced you’ve merged with it on a molecular level, sorry to break it to you, but that’s not enlightenment.

It’s just a really strong edible.

8. You Think You’re a Spiritual Genius, But You’ve Forgotten How to Use Your Phone

Part of spiritual enlightenment is gaining wisdom and insight into the nature of life, love, and the universe. You feel empowered, confident, and like you’re in tune with a higher sense of truth.

But then again, if you’re sitting there thinking you’ve unlocked the secrets of existence but can’t figure out how to open a text message, you might want to pump the brakes on declaring yourself a guru. There’s a fine line between feeling like you’re the smartest person in the room and being so high that basic technology becomes a puzzle worthy of a genius-level IQ.

If you’re struggling to navigate the basics of modern communication, you might not be reaching nirvana after all.

9. Are You Contemplating the Universe or Just Rambling?

One hallmark of a truly enlightening experience is that it leaves you feeling grounded and at peace with the world. Your insights are calm, clear, and meaningful.

But when you’re high, you might think you’re making profound observations, only to find that you’ve been rambling on for 20 minutes about how “everything is just, like, connected, man.” If your friends are giving you that glazed-over look, or you’ve lost track of what you were even talking about mid-sentence, that’s a strong indicator you’re not on the path to enlightenment—you’re just stoned.

10. The Real Test: How Do You Feel the Next Day?

The ultimate question is how you feel the day after. When you’re truly enlightened, the experience sticks with you. It doesn’t vanish as soon as the substances leave your system. There’s a sense of lasting peace, clarity, and understanding that carries over into your everyday life.

But if you wake up the next morning, groggy, craving snacks, and a little embarrassed about the things you said the night before—well, that’s a sign that it wasn’t enlightenment at all. You were just high.

Conclusion: Are You Enlightened or Just Really, Really High?

The line between feeling enlightened and just being super high can be blurry, especially in the moment. Both experiences can make you feel deeply connected to the universe, cause you to question the nature of reality, and leave you with what feels like profound insights. But at the end of the day, true enlightenment is lasting and coherent, while a high can leave you questioning your life choices—and your relationship with your couch.

So, next time you feel like you’ve unlocked the mysteries of the cosmos, take a step back and ask yourself: Is this realization grounded in something meaningful, or am I just way too invested in my ceiling fan’s philosophical musings?

Enlightenment brings clarity, purpose, and often a shift in how you see yourself and the world. Being really, really high? Well, that brings an intense fascination with everyday objects, the munchies, and sometimes a deep sense of confusion. Both have their merits (especially that bag of Doritos), but knowing the difference can save you a lot of head-scratching moments down the line.

So, whether you’re on a spiritual path or just on the couch, remember: enlightenment lasts. But the high? That’ll wear off. And when it does, you’ll probably look back and laugh at the fact that you thought the fridge was judging you. Turns out, it was just doing its job—keeping your snacks cool while you journeyed through the stars.